| By :
William Gabriel
In general there are four indicators that someone is in an emotionally abuse relationship. If you or someone you know can identify with the following signs, it's a safe bet that you are not in a healthy, loving relationship. 1. You often feel isolated from others and you are often humiliated by your partner. Emotionally abusive people look for ways that they can keep their partners down by making them loathe themselves. In order to make them feel this way, the abusers will cut off their victims from any means of getting support, whether from family or friends. 2. You often are blamed for being the cause of the abuse. Emotional abusers never accept or admit that are doing something wrong, and nothing is ever their fault according to them. Instead they blame the people they abuse for "making them" be abusive. They are a fountain of excuses when it comes to rationalizing their abusive behavior. The often blame a bad childhood or stress for making them act the way they do. 3. You abuser constantly looks for effective ways to intimidate you. Emotionally abusive people routinely threaten their partners in order to get their own way. They probably won't resort to actual physical violence, but they are not above making threats of physical violence to get what they want. Their pattern is to use guilt, shame, and fear to intimidate others and make them feel like there is no way out of the bad relationship. 4. Your abuser strives dominate you. Abusers have an insatiable desire to feel like they are the only ones in control all of the time. In order to perpetuate this delusion, they often treat their partners like mere possessions. They convince themselves that outside of their relationship, the victim has no intrinsic value other than his or her ability to make the abuser happy. Emotional abuse is not like physical abuse when it comes to societal stigma, and this may be one of the reasons that it is ignored so often. In most cases even the abuser's victim doesn't feel like she has a legitimate complaint to make against her partner and she will consequently spend months, years, even decades in the bad relationship. The reality, however, is that emotional abuse leaves different kinds of scars that are not visible to the human but the wreak havoc on families, children, and relationships. The emotional trauma and suffering of this kind of abuse can take years to recover from. It doesn't have to be this way though. There are people out there who want to help you move on and once again find your self-confidence and self-worth. Moving toward a place of empowerment is ideal and it can be achieved from something as simple as learning a martial art with self defense videos or a Self Defense DVD. Find a new joy and take time for it whether it is joining a gym, a garden club, or a group therapy session.
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