| By :
William Gabriel
It's sad but true that many times cases of domestic abuse continue without intervention. However, if anything is to be done to combat this problem, people must accept that it happens and learn to notice its signs and symptoms. Help for victims of domestic abuse is available to anyone who seeks it; they just have to want it. Once victims get help they can put the pieces together and move on to lead happier, more empowering lives. For some people healing comes when they learn a few new martial arts moves at a group class. For other victims prolonged counseling and group therapy may be in order. So what is domestic abuse? Domestic abuse is the pressuring, controlling, and dominating behavior displayed by one partner over another. When this turns violent and physical, it is referred to as domestic violence. Partners who resort to abuse and violence are really just looking for ways to control someone else. Their primary weapons are fear, guilt, intimidation, and shame. They use them frequently and often use threats to make their victims give in and do only what they want. When friends and family try to help you get out of the situation, they are often met by the same abusive behaviors. Domestic violence and abuse are common problems and they are not limited to any particular group. Men and women can both be victims, and abusive behavior can occur among heterosexual as well as homosexual couples. No matter what the circumstances, however, everyone has the right to feel safe and be respected as a person. Indicators of Abuse The following are common symptoms found in abusive relationships: 1. Your partner displays very possessive behavior and is often jealous 2. You change your behavior because you are worried you will anger your partner and there will negative, even violent consequences for your actions. 3. You feel that you did something to deserve mistreatment. 4. Your partner tells you that you are the reason why he is abusive. 5. Your partner always yells at you. 6. Your partner publically blames you and humiliates you. 7. If you try to leave, your partner threatens to harm you in some way. 8. Your partner uses threats against your children to get what he or she wants. 9. You often feel helpless and suffer from depression. 10. Your discounts your opinions and accuses you of making no contributions to the relationship or family. Get out. Move on with your life. Moving on takes a different shape for each victim. Some feel the need to move to a new home and even a new city. Getting a new apartment and focusing on making it on their own gives them a form of therapy. Some develop new hobbies and try new things like Martial Arts Training. It helps people who have had to repress who they are when they can do what they want without fear of retribution. Still many will need the aid of a family, friends, and a mental health professional to overcome the emotional and psychological damage from abuse.
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