| By :
Glenn Devey
Usually guys who want to know about getting over an ex girlfriend rapidly are in pain. It's the pain and other negative emotions like anger, sadness and hurt that are driving them to find a quick resolution. When you stand back and think about it, this is actually how we're supposed to function as humans. If we feel an intense negative emotion, it's a signal that something's wrong and that we need to get away from it as quickly as possible. Just like burning a finger on a hot stove. But please don't try that one at home. To start on the road to recovery, it will serve you well to accept this: It has happened to you, and everything from here on in is your responsibility, but not your fault. Think about that for a moment. This means that whilst you can't change what happened in the past, you can and will change and manage your responses to it. Every thought and feeling you experience from now is in response to a memory from the past, which needs energy to be maintained. And of course, there's always a way to stop doing stuff that makes you feel bad. If you're feeling bad or any of the intense negative emotions about what has happened to you, take the emotions as a signal that there's something to learn from this experience. In order for the emotions to start to release, you need to find some learnings that are: - About you - Positive - Future based So for example, something like: "If there's a difficult issue to be discussed in the next relationship, I'm going to bring it up sensitively and calmly so we can resolve it like grown adults." Not: "All girls are evil and I wish I'd dumped her first." Or whatever they are - you need to extract your own positive learning from this experience so you can begin the process of getting over an ex girlfriend. Do this now. The challenge is for you to find 5 positive learnings about this unpleasant experience that will serve you well in the future and allow the negative emotions to start to fade. Typically people experience a strong negative feeling when they need to take note of something happenning around them. Some feelings are intended to be strong and uncomfortable, so that they catch your attention. When you've paid attention to what's wrong and learned what you need to learn, the emotion starts to go away. Hanging onto negative feelings when they're past their sell-by date doesn't help anyone. For the moment, search inside to find some learning about what happened that will help you have a better relationship next time. This means: Useful stuff to help you and your next partner have a happier and longer-lasting relationship. Not: A big stick to beat yourself with. If you've ever lay awake at night with something going around and around in your head - maybe something that happened during the day that was unpleasant, the chances are that your sub-conscious is trying to get you to pay attention to some specific aspect of it and then learn a lesson that will stop you from repeating it again. Finding some positive lessons for the future works really well and makes the constant replay go away, and it's a great start to the process of getting over an ex girlfriend.
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