| By :
Glenn Devey
There are phases in life that seem to pass quickly, and others that seem to drag and take forever. Getting over ex girlfriends is one example where we wish we had a fast forward button like Adam Sandler in the hit film "Click". Sadly we don't, but there are a few secrets to speeding up the healing process and making things easier for yourself. Whilst it may seem drastic and almost spiteful, breaking contact with your ex will work out in your favour. If you still have common interests and concerns like property or children, this can be difficult but not impossible. If you have legal or moral ties that keep you associated in some way, at least make a conscious effort to have the bare minimum to do with your ex. The part of you that's still yearning to be with her needs to have the message re-enforced that it's over and it's time to move to pastures new. Holding on to the briefest contact after you've split up doesn't make you feel better and doesn't help either. It's a slow and painful ending. Getting rid of any sentimental objects will help to get you thinking and feeling better sooner. Ornaments, photos and filmclips that remind you of your time together need to go. A practical approach is okay here; half empty box of oatmeal doesn't count, and neither does a pair of socks, but if the item is a trigger for a painful memory, it's better off in the trash can. Changing your hangouts helps with getting over ex girlfriends, and not just physical locations but online forums and social networks too. I'm not even sure that computers had been invented the first time I got dumped, let alone the invention of facebook or myspace. Whichever way you look at it, reducing the probability of a chance meeting in person or on the 'net is better for you both. Ever heard the expression "Moss doesn't grow on a rolling stone?" (Except Keith Richards). Staying busy and active helps to keep your mind off recent and unfortunate events, and gives you an outlet for any excess emotional stuff that you need to expel. Sport and exercise are marvellous for this, and there's lots of clinical research that supports the notion that feeling sad is harder when you exercise regularly. The usual rules apply about consulting your physician before starting any exercise programme, but even light exercise such as walking, jogging and swimming have a positive effect. (Remember what happened to Forest Gump when he decided to take up running?) Laughter is the best medicine. You're not always going to feel like it and it's not easy to conjure up on demand, but watching comedy or having a good laugh with your buddies works wonders too. For the more adventurous there's the live comedy venues, for the less adventurous there's the DVD and for those that don't want to leave the armchair there's YouTube. And just for once, it's okay to laugh at someone worse off than you. But don't make a habit of it. Most of getting over ex girlfriends is directly within your own making - one mistake we often make in life is to make someone else responsible for our own happiness. This is a flawed strategy, and there's no better time to put it right than when you have a clean sheet to work with. Clean sheets are a necessity in lots of circumstances, but I'll leave you to work those out.
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