| By :
Ray Dickson
Learning effective methods disciplining children is an important skill parents need to acquire. First, parents must understand discipline is not synonymous with punishment. Discipline involves teaching the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior and how to respect other people's rights. Discipline must have as a primary goal helping children develop while feeling loved and secure. Parental discipline should lead to self-confidence and self-discipline where a child learns how to control impulses while positively dealing with frustration accompanying everyday stress experienced in life. Never When You're Angry
Disciplining children methods should never be administered when the adult or parent in charge is angry. Discipline compelled by anger is child abuse. People administering physical forms of discipline when angry are abusers and bullies who react to the frustration they experience by taking it out on a child. A considerate parent wanting to provide a lesson and not merely hand out a beating will make sure they wait until they are calm and think before implementing any discipline method. Physical Discipline is Non-Productive
Physical discipline methods such as spanking is a temporary measure to stop types of behavior. Bad behavior is most likely to continue as spanking is essentially punishment for performing in a certain way that is inappropriate. The child is sent a message that the behavior was not okay but hitting never teaches the lesson about what is suitable or the correct behavior. Disciplining toddlers by spanking reinforces within a child not correct behavior but teaches the lesson to avoid getting caught. Furthermore, spanking is predicated upon instilling fear in the subject as a behavior modifier instead of instructing a child about the benefit from acting properly. Constant Consistency
Disciplining children must have at its very fundamentals a theme of consistency. A child should not be grounded for a week for using foul language only to ignore the same behavior at a later date. Using a method like denying a child a specific treat when telling a lie cannot give way to a child receiving the same treat after telling a lie simply because grandma is providing it. Children are quick learners who will easily identify patterns of inconsistency when discipline will be ignored and always will seek to manipulate the situation. But, they will soon realize that consequences will arise and must be faced when these fundamentals are regularly implemented. Patience is Not Just a Virtue
As the parent, when disciplining children it will be your determination regarding just how much patience must be shown to help a child develop correctly. You, as parent, are probably the best qualified. You know when a child is testing boundaries and you need to be the one reaffirming what are the proper behavior boundaries. During all the testing a child puts you through, it will be your degree of patience that dictates success for disciplining toddlers. It will be best to modify your behavior by refraining from exhibiting anger remembering to always react calmly to the given situation as children will reflect the same kind of behavior seen in a parent. Therefore, it is vital to make sure the "mirror" you place in front of them is positive and loving.
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