Have you ever felt like doing something, but something was holding you back? You may have even felt that part of you wanted to go out, for example, but another part of you wanted to stay in and watch TV. Or maybe part of you wanted to eat Mexican food, but another part of you wanted to eat Chinese. Harmless enough, right? Not so fast.
When we are dealing with in consequential things like which restaurant we should go to, or what flavor ice cream we want, it's usually not a big deal. But what happens when there is a more serious issue, and the oscillations between choices are giving some trouble? Even worse, it's the kind of decision that you have to make, and putting it off is only making it worse. What do you do then?
Well, you're in luck because you are about to find out. The idea of people being made up of parts with different intentions, may be a goofy one, may be completely false, but many have found it to be a useful hallucination to help overcome these maddening oscillations.
One of the presuppositions from NLP and the world of therapeutic conversational hypnosis is that every part of you (even if they are imaginary) has a positive intention. It is not trying to sabotage you, or bring you down. Only when separate parts conflict in their methods of achieving their intentions do problems come up.
Generally speaking, all of your parts are after your well being with respect to the basic human needs. Safety, shelter, companionship, love, esteem, and self actualization. It's just that some parts conflict with other parts. This is what makes these tough decisions so tough. It seems like you want two things at once. All you need to do though, is the same thing that mediators do during tense negotiations. Find common ground between seemingly opposite parties.
The way to do this is with the different parts? Easy. Relax back, breath deeply, and slowly, and relax. And prepare your mind for some make believe hallucinations. Hold out both hands, palms facing up, and invite each part to come out. Now, with each part sitting on either palm, open up a conversation between them with you as the go between.
Just ask them what's important. Keep chunking up, until you get to some higher level criteria. Eventually you will get to a point where it's clear that both parts are after the same thing. Then you can simply merge them into a new part, bring them back inside, and see what happens. It's not uncommon to find all kinds of new opportunities and possibilities opening up that you didn't consider before.
Author Resource:-
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