Have you ever been in a conversation with somebody, and you felt as if you were kind of mismatched? Even though you were talking about the same subject, and may have even been in agreement on several issues regarding that subject, you may have still felt a bit of a disconnect while talking to them.
You can forget about that ever happening again, dear reader, as you will soon learn a technique that will skyrocket your ability to connect. When two people talk, they are talking on many different levels at the same time. Surface language, deep structure language, body language and facial expressions. Unless you're in sync on all levels, you're likely to feel that strange feeling of not quite getting all of their attention.
One thing that people truly need to become comfortable with somebody is a feeling of safety. And one thing that leads to a feeling of safety is a feeling of familiarity. If you've ever driven around lost in a strange city, then you can feel what I'm saying. You drive around for who knows how long, scared, anxious, confused, but when you see a familiar landmark, all of your tensions suddenly ease, and you can feel relaxed knowing you are close to home.
Every time we meet somebody knew, it seems unfamiliar and it can take a while to develop those feelings of safety. Sometimes it can take a long time to even tolerate certain people, let alone feel comfortable enough with them to share personal information. The good news is that there is a system that can help you create that feeling of connection relatively quickly.
Our brains process information from the world through our five senses. And when we speak, and describe things (whether or not they are real or imagined) we have to describe them in terms of one of our five senses. And most people have a preferred "sense" that they use to describe the things and ideas they are talking about.
The technique, then, is to simply pay close attention, and figure out what there preferred sense, or "rep system," is. And just use that same thing when you speak to them. If they use sight words (look, see, bright, dark) you use sight words. If they use sound words (sounds, static, noise) you use sound words. If they use feeling, or kinesthetic words (touch, feel, warm, cold) you use feeling words. It's that simple.
It may take some getting used to at first, as it really is strange to talk in a rep system that you don't normally use, so it may take a bit of practice. One way to practice is to describe all of the things around you when you have a couple of minutes (at a traffic light, for example,) and use the different rep systems to describe things. You'll find that in no time your ability to gain peoples trust and confidence will skyrocket.
Author Resource:-
For many more resources on persuasion, influence and NLP, stop by George Hutton's blog filled with Free NLP Training and hidden secrets to Covert Hypnosis
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