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The Joy of Not Cooking: My Love Affair With Acai Berry Supplements And Massaged Kale



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By : Mark Etinger   

I love to eat raw foods. I'm obsessed with the ease of preparation, the freshness of locally grown vegetables, the energy I feel, and the delicious knowledge that everything I put in my body is going to good use. Not, you know, lingering around the middle, making my jeans too tight. It's bikini season. I don't want muffin top, I want to look like a Brazilian supermodel. I'm taking my acai berry supplements every morning, so I'm guessing I'll wake up and mistake myself for Gisele any day now.

Till that fine day, or toward that fine day, I'm trying out new raw recipes and loving them. Last night, my girlfriends and I had a raw potluck, and I swear, we felt high from the pure health and freshness of the food. I appreciated that, because my hard-core burn-body-fat-fast girls aren't eating any sugar at all these days, so no wine or beer allowed!

Here's what I contributed to the feast we put on the table, and then essentially demolished.

(Actually, there were some leftovers, which made perfect lunches for each of us the next day. Another awesome thing about these raw recipes is how they keep so much better than regular salads--no lettuce mush.)

MASSAGED KALE SALAD

I eat this a couple nights a week. I'm obsessed. I go into the market with noble intentions to choose a different veggie (why not some zucchini, right?), but oh, so casually, I snatch up kale instead. Again. Is there a natural drug in kale? Seriously. I'm addicted. You'd think it was candy, or acai berry supplements.

Ingredients:

Kale

Avocado

Red onion (or any onion, or no onion)

Lemon

Olive oil

Salt

Prep:

1. Chop the kale into pieces you'd be happy forking and eating. Don't include the stems.

2. Put chopped kale in bowl with a few drops of olive oil and a sprinkle of salt. This is the magic step. Massage the kale. Go on, give your kale a little massage. It's had a rough day.

3. See it change under your fingers, go all bright green and glossy? So pretty, right? Nice.

4. Now chop the onion. Dice it, slice it? However you like your onion. Or omit it, if you're not into onions. I like the bite, but maybe you have a date after dinner. Maybe onions make you cry. This salad is definitely not here to make you cry, except for those happy, dear-lord-this-is-so-good tears. 

5. This is the part where you could chop anything else you might like to add to this salad. Go wild! Cukes, tomato, feta--whateva your little heart desires.

6. Now for the avocado. I hope you love avocado. It's a yummy salad without it (in which case, a dash of orange juice is superb), but with it, we approach transcendence. Slice open your avocado, score it with a knife, and squeeze it into the kale. Massage. Your hands get messy, yes, but why be uptight? It feels really good.

7. Finish the salad off with a squeeze of lemon. This is absolutely essential. The brightness and acidity of the citrus balances the (good) fat of the olive oil and avocado. (Okay, if you're a lemon hater, not that I can relate, but sherry vinegar will do that same trick.)

Maybe it's the acai berry supplements curbing my appetite for other things, but I really think I could eat only this salad all summer and be happy. Hope you enjoy it, too!

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