| By :
Mark Etinger
You don't need us to tell you how stressful planning a wedding can be. Every detail, from the shoes of the flower girl to the stamps on the envelopes of the invitations, has to be proofed and revised and taken care of over and over and over again. But at the end of the day, the cake gets eaten, the champagne gets drunk, the tuxedos get returned and the gifts get deposited into a checking account. But there is one thing that happy couples will typically spend a great deal of time selecting BEFORE the wedding, and it will actually be relevant AFTER the ceremony as well, for many years to come. We're talking, of course, about the ketubah. For those who are unaware, the ketubah is the Jewish wedding contract between the bride and the groom. While originally created as a means of protecting the bride and ensuring she would be supported, protected and cherished, the ketubah is now considered as much a part of Jewish art as it is a staple of a Jewish marriage, if not more so. Because of its role in Jewish art, ketubahs are now available in countless different designs, each one more magnificent than the next. While this has positively expanded the influence of Jewish art, it has perhaps put more pressure on the young bride and groom, who have yet one more difficult decision to make before the big day. Naturally, every bride and groom has their own personal set of priorities. And for some, the ketubah selection might be somewhere near the bottom. Sadly, some couples may opt to just find the quickest, most convenient ketubah available and order the first one they see, rush delivery if the price is right. However, for those couples who think being selective with their ketubah isn't important, here's something to keep in mind: Imagine this scenario: after searching your entire lifetime for the perfect partner, then spending months planning the perfect wedding, including finding the most magnificent, beautiful ketubah, you show up to the chuppah on the day of your wedding only to discover your Rabbi or Cantor will not marry you with the ketubah you've chosen. Because they find your ketubah to be unfit. Yes, this scenario does and has occurred. Many rabbis will find a ketubah unacceptable if the text is not correct ,even if just a Hebrew name or date is misspelled or the calligraphy is unusually shaped or distorted. It is unfair for you to ask your Rabbi or Cantor to sacrifice his own principles and beliefs just because you failed to check with him beforehand to make sure your ketubah was kosher (and besides, they typically won't). You've spent so much time getting everything ready for this day; DON'T FORGET to get your ketubah approved! (And don't wait until the last minute — make sure you have ample time for adjustments.)
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