| By :
Marilyn Katz
It could be Thanksgiving, Christmas, or any hoiday. We have high expectations for happy times. But sometimes all of the extra duties, bills, and changes to our routines seem to add anxiety into the mix. Guests may be visiting from another town. Local friends may be stopping by. There may be lots of gifts to be exchanged. Bright colors and holiday meals should make us happy. This is all great. However, somehow we have to transport, feed, and entertain extra guests. We have to spend extra time making sure the house stays clean in case of company. You cannot possibly buy extra food or gifts without increasing your bills. We also have to understand that all of these plans will disrupt our routines. It is no real wonder that, sometimes, the happiest times tend to lead to hurt feelings or fights. Some people even get physically ill. We need to learn to cope with the extra stress so we can actually enjoy holidays in the true spirit they were meant to generate for us. Some people just manage to rise above it all. But most of us have to work at staying calm despite the extra chores and obligations. I have come up with a few tips that have heled us over the years. Lower your expectations a notch. Just force yourself to accept the fact that everythig will not work out perfectly, and that is perfectly ok. Planes may be late, the toilet may back up at the worst possible time, and kids may spill fruit juice all over your newly cleaned carpets just before your boss arrives. Sometimes the best memories are our reactions to these little situations. You cannot control everything that happens, but you can control your reaction to the situation. When you already expect something to go wrong, you will not be as startled when it does. Do not try to be superman or superwoman. You may want to attend every party, including three that are schedued on the same afternoon. You must decide which events are the most important. Some invitations may have to declined. It is also perfectly fine to let others help you. You may be having fifteen guests over for dinner. If a guests asks you what they can bring, be sure to let them know you would be happy to accept their help or contribution. Most of the time, people are happy to contribute a side dish, bag of ice, or carton of sodas. Many people enjoy the opportunity to show off their own special dish. You can still be a great hostess and the star of your dinner party. Just let some of your guests have supporting roles! Ask people to wait for you. Your daughter may be eager to hit the malls when your mom needs your help getting to the dentist. You know which one is a highe priority, and you may have to put off the mall visit until tomorrow. If both things have to happen at the same time, it is the perfect time to pull in some favors. Sometimes you are managing to weather the storm, but see outbreaks of tension in your group of friends or family. Try to understand that they are coping with strss too. You can enjoy the holidays. Just relax and get some control over the situation. Do not be afraid to seek help when you need it!
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