| By :
Marilyn Katz
One of the best bits of advice that I ever got is about the best way to handle tough situations. We know that we cannot prevent every bad thing, but what we can do is work on our own response to the situation. Sometimes we do need help. But many times we really can influence our own moods by the way we think about the negative situations that caused a case of the blues! Have you ever seen people who have just endured an awful situation? If you turn on the nightly news, stories about people who have lost their homes or been through an illness are common. Some focus on what they have lost, and this is easy to understand. But other people focus on what they did not lose, and they start thinking about a better future. Imagine two families who lost their homes in a sudden wind storm. One family is in tears because they lost all of their furniture, family pictures, or other items that will be hard to replace. Since they have lost their homes they have to go live at a community shelter or with family. Their normal life seems to have been destroyed within minutes. A second family is crying with joy because all of the people in their family are unharmed and safe. This family is just happy that they have found shelter right now. This family is also already trying to figure out how they can recover. I would not blame the first family, and I would understand that they are probably experiencing a very normal reaction to a trauma. But I would say that the second family is better off. They are thinking about making progress in the future. You see that the second family is trying not to dwell on the problems. Hopefully, most of you will not ever lose your homes in a sudden storm. But I am sure that all of us have experienced some setbacks that seemed just awful at the time. This could be a job loss, social snub, illness, or problems with family members. I cannot imagine that anybody ever gets through life without having some bad things happen. If you can try to focus on the steps you will take to remedy the situation, instead of how awful the setback is, you will do yourself a favor. You will be working toward a better tomorrow. And you will not suffer as much pain today. You can try to control your own response to help you get through a variety tough situations. Have you gained too much weight, lost your job, or had problems with your spouse or partner? You will make a lot more progress is you can work out a plan to fix some of the problems. You can find some positive steps to take, but sometimes, you will find they are not easy. Do not be afraid to seek help when you need it. A friend, clergy member, or mental health professional may have answers that you seek. I have heard the cliche that attitude is everything. I do not believe that a positive attitude can cure everything but without a good mental outlook, it can be hard to survive the most minor setbacks.
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